Monday was Natalie's 6 month Dr's appointment. I was so excited to see how Natalie was growing but I was horrified to learn that my baby had only grown 1 lbs and 1 inch in two months! Basically I was starving her because I obviously wasn't making enough milk.
the past couple of days have been filled with a lot of 'withdrawls' and 'what if's' . I feel like a failure for not being able to make enough milk for my child and for basically starving her for the past two months. Shouldn't I have been able to tell? She was really fussy when she'd eat and she wouldn't eat for very long but I just thought it was teething since after she'd eat she was so content and happy and wouldn't want to eat again for 3 hours!
My only thought after the Dr's appt. was "When we get home lets give her a bottle." But Natalie hated the bottle and the only thing that calmed her down was nursing but I knew that I wasn't giving her what she needed. Monday she only ate 3 times! I went to walmart and got a huge package of bottles and finally found a nipple that Natalie would take.
I can't even explain the emotions I have been through. During all this I was debating on whether I gave up too easily or not. Should I have gone and gotten something to try and increase my milk supply? Should I still nurse her and just suppliment afterward? Should I nurse her morning and night? Did I make myself lose my milk because I was trying to eat healthier? I called almost everyone I know to get their opinion and just when i'd made my decision something would happen and I'd question it all over again. Let's just say it's been a rough few days.
I decided Monday night though not to nurse at all so now I sit here bound by my too tight sports bra and am so 'FULL' and my chest feels like it ran a 10k marathon. I went swimming last night just so my boobs could have a break from gravity it was so wonderful I didn't want to get out! :)
Natalie is doing much better now. She still hates the bottle but she'll take it and eat at least 3-4 ounces at a time depending on her mood. She is also SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT! If that was the only good thing that came from bottle feeding I think I would do it all over again. The same thing happened with Caleb I lost my milk when he was 4 months old and basically that's when Nat stop growing too. I guess I just wasn't made to be a dairy farmer :(
2 comments:
Hey Christy,
Ty's 6 month was Monday too and I have to tell you that you are being WAY to hard on yourself! I stopped being able to make enough at 2 months! I went through the same thing you were describing but once I had some distance and time from the issue I realized that he will be just fine and babies are bottle fed all the time.. Yeah, it's not ideal but it's fine. Also, if you are still uncomfortable. I would pump each evening for about 2 weeks after I stopped nursing and I slowly lost all my milk but I wasn't in pain at all! Plus I was able to give him what I pumped so it made the whole thing easier to deal with. Trust me, you are great for making it as long as you did.
By the way, I love your blog and your baby is so cute!
Christy, as I read this post, my heart went out to you. I know exactly how you are feeling. Brig nursed for about three days, when it was just colostrum. My milk NEVER came in and I know the feelings and all the emotions you feel. I went to the doctor to get medicine to promote milk and it did nothing...long story short, I learned that the day will still have a morning and a night...life will go on and your child(ren) will not love you any less no matter what you do or are unable to do for them. Hang in there...I'm excited to see you guys this weekend!
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